It's been about a year since I really took up running. This time November, I felt dedicated, unsure, excited, stupid, sore, and well on my way to training for a December 5K race. My real goal was a 5K a few months later at my alma mater.
I'm still dedicated, unsure, excited, stupid, and sore! Whatever the distance, I run for myself and preferably to benefit some awesome cause. As my feet pace out the pavement, my thoughts are calm and gentle. I don't run in panic anymore. Unexpected things happen in every race (My watch died! I'm out of nutrition! I have serious blisters forming and miles to go! I'm sick! It's cold! It's HOT!!) but it's all manageable and calmness prevails.
I used to run from myself. I used to run to find something at the end. I used to run only because I was encouraged by other people that this was a healthy thing to do.
Today I run because I am more alive between the start and finish than during any other alone time.
I am waiting for nothing, depending on nobody else, and loving myself.