My new, actually not-so-new, job has kept me quite busy. I have a lot of thoughts about "busy".
I'm still finding time to run, and recently celebrated the one-year anniversary of my hip fracture. I had hoped to work my way up to a marathon by the end of this season, but healing takes time. Things that are broken can't be forced back together. They choose their own pace and demand respect, no matter how much you may want otherwise. No marathons for me by the end of May. Perhaps this winter ;)
I have changed my gears a bit and I'm focusing on triathlon training. I never thought I'd be brave enough to tackle new sports, but here I am in week five, practicing six days a week. There are so many fears to face and self-talks along this journey. I live with a premise that I'm weak, easily broken by others, and I think that sports are my way of proving my worth to myself. When people ask why I workout, I can't say this- it's socially unacceptable! I say it's because I can't sit still. Will I actually sign up for a triathlon? Who knows... I do have my eye on a certain one in June. Right now, the training is enough. I love it.
Balance isn't easy. J is heading off to FL again this summer. I want to go with her. I want to quit my new fabulous job and laze and run in the sun. Last night I skipped swim practice to take her out to dinner. I want her to know that she comes first, and that training is NOT my life. I love her.
All is well in this ridiculous life. Some days are hard and lonely, but when I pause in those moments to question the truth of that, I find myself surrounded by unconditional friendship and love.