Sunday, May 14, 2017

D-day

I am not a fan of many holidays. I spent all my teen years without my parents, and until I was 16, was raised in an environment where I constantly had to watch my back. Fear. Then I ran away.

Celebrating holidays especially like today just reminds me that I'm not all that grateful for the way I've been treated. I have a narcissistic parent in my life who was always abusive, and I'm supposed to act like I'm the perfect daughter by sending a gift and making that phone call. Shoot me.

I've put as much distance as possible in that relationship and any others that disrespect who I am. It's been a cleansing year, and I'm still cutting back. New friendships form where old, rotten ones were pulled. I'm digging out the roots of my anxiety.

I do love being a mom and having my own little family. It's so different from anything I knew. We don't have negativity here, we just work it out as we go. Bad things happen and we find better footing. Together.