Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Gaslit

Apparently The Mother has not been able to reach me by phone for a couple weeks, and I was too busy to talk on Sunday. Whaaaa?

Since we had made a group phone call, I checked with The Husband to confirm my own memory, and we were indeed brushed off the phone that day. I spoke to her the Weds before, and again briefly the day before, Mother's Day.

I hate that holiday. Just reiterating.

Since this strange conversation came in by text today, I replied with facts as the incorrect statements came at me, then simply stopped replying. In the past, when she claimed she couldn't contact me, she has sent the Red Cross to my front door, and has twice called my office director several heads above me to complain about her daughter's lack of communication. In all instances I had not received a message on my work or home phone, no email, nada. Manipulation. At one point I called my grandmother (The Mother's Mother) to talk to her about the inappropriate behavior.

The last time I did have a full convo with The Mother, she wanted me to come spend time with her in FL after my job ends June 2nd. I won't go.

I wish I could be completely free. I have so many terrible memories. Why was she allowed to give me up so many times to other people throughout my childhood, but I'm not allowed to leave her? Last time I was given out, she signed my guardianship over to my high school band director.

I have some anger. And so I leave this writing to go work out, then make dinner for my tiny family of three.

I am grateful every day for us.